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The adverse effects on human behavior when exposed to large quantities of Beer, Bratwust, and Bernie Brewer

July 30th, 2008

You can chuckle all you like at this post, but I think someone needs to complete this study. Last night in Milwaukee I was once again stunned at the actions of both Cub and Brewers fans. I have now been to my fair share of out of town games. Being a Cub fan this is normally fun because Cub fans tend to travel wherever the team goes. Outside of the state of Wisconsin, with the slight exception of an over served lady in out nations capitol, people tend to behave themselves and have fun. Not in Milwaukee.

Let me be clear, I am not blaming Brewers fans. The bulk of this problem resides with Cub-Dumb. What is Cub-Dumb? I will explain. There is Cubdom, which I am a loyal member of. We are the Cub fans who endure freezing temperatures to go to opening day. We are the fans who, if we decide to drink, don’t over consume to a point that disrupts the game. We are the fans who remember that the bulk of our lives the Cubs sucked, bleacher seats were always cheap because they were not novel or comfortable, and Wrigley was normally half-full (<—notice optimize, also a key trait). Then there is Cub-Dumb which comes out of the woodwork every 5-10 years when the comes begin to contend. They are the human version of the cicada.  They are very loud, very annoying, and you wish they would just go away.

This Cub-Dumb was in full force last night along with a few versions of their Brewer counterpart. They yell back and forth as if these two teams are both storied franchises that have so many world series trophies that had to build accessory  buildings just to house them. They were kind enough to drop the occasional F-bomb when the other side yelled back at them with no regard for the kids around them that made up 15-20% of the crowd. And for some reason, I think it must be a survival mechanism, they feel the need to constantly stand up.

They stand up and walk to get beer even when the beer guy is right there. They stand up to pay the beer guy. They stand up to wave to their friends in another section who they had to stand up and call. They stand up to show the people they are with the other people the know in other sections. They stand up to yell at each other. They stand up to climb over seats and push one another. Then when the police and security show up they all stand up together as they get a stern “don’t do it again”. Sometimes they stand up for no reason at all. Just so we can yell down in front, which must be like water or air to them.

I think this is such a problem in Milwaukee becuase it is tolerated. In Chicago if you stand up because you were stabbed in the back the entire stadium would yell in unison down in front. It is not uncommon for Standing room only fans to have this yelled to them. If fans begin to push, shove, yell, or make odd faces the nice old ladies at every aisle call their private police officer to throw them out, beat them, and ban them from the stadium for life. I believe this is what they reffered to in The Untouchables as the Chicago Way.

I like the Chicago Way.

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Left Coast Week

June 2nd, 2008

The great news is the Cubbies are 15 games over .500. I fully expect something terrible to happen but there is this inkling that this may be the summer I have been waiting for. The not so great news is it is West Coast trip week.

Let me sum up West Coast Trip Week. IT SUCKS! And now that the Cubs are 15 games over .500 I cannot go a full week without watching the games. In addition to being West Coast Week it may also be excessive caffine week.

Hopefully by Friday I will still be able to type with my serious lack of upcoming sleep.

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10 years

April 4th, 2008

10 years ago today I married my lovely wife Michelle. For those of you who do not know me, I can tell you it is quite an accomplishment for any person to spend 10 minutes with me, let alone stick it out for 10 years and still maintain their sanity. Every picture on this website is a credit to the strong woman who stands next to me. She’s the one person I can always talk to and my best friend. She even likes me enough to take up running every now and then, despite despising it, so we can go out and get mad at one another. So, happy anniversary to my lovely wife. Hopefully in 70 years you can still stand me enough to be around and brighten my day, and perhaps help me eat through a straw.

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Opening Day haiku for our new right fielder

March 31st, 2008

Cubs Opening Day

Raining and windy outside

Don’t Care, Go Cubs Go!

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For the record

March 27th, 2008

It is currently snowing…….again…….in March…….after Easter…….4 days from opening day……and not a 60 in sight.

Winter Sucks!

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2008 Baseball Picks

March 25th, 2008

In spite of my loathing for moving something so American as opening day to Japan for a second time, today is the unofficial opening day for the American League (aka lame baseball). So I have decided to make my predictions today, plus on the real Opening Day I will be freezing my patooter off in the left field upper deck to see the Cubs begin their 2008 World series quest.

Without any further adieu here are my bold (Cubs slanted) predictions:

American League:

East: Red Sox 95-67, Blue Jays 91-71, Yankees 89-73, Rays 78-86, Orioles 62-100
Central: Tigers 95-67, Indians 90-72, Twins 81-81, White Sox 73-89, Royals 65-97
West: Angels 92-70, Mariners 81-81, Rangers 74-88, A’s 73-89
Divisional Playoffs: Tigers over Blue Jays 3-1,  Angels over Red Sox 3-2

ALCS: Tigers over Angels 4-2

MVP: Vladimir Guerrero

Cy Young: Roy Halladay

Rookie of the Year: Evan Longoria

Surprise Team: Blue Jays
Disappointment Team: Yankees

Surprise Player: Aaron Hill (Blue Jays)
Disappointment Player: Dontrelle Willis (Tigers)
National League

East: Mets 92-70, Braves 88-74, Phillies 84-78, Nationals 70-92, Marlins 66-96
Central: Cubs 94-68, Brewers 89-73, Reds 79-83, Astros 76-86, Cardinals 73-89, Pirates 70-92
West: Padres 90-72, Diamondbacks 85-77, Dodgers 81-81, Rockies 81-81, Giants 72-90

Divisional Playoffs: Cubs over Padres 3-1, Mets over Brewers 3-1

NLCS: Cubs over Mets 4-2

MVP:  David Wright

Cy Young: Jake Peavy

Rookie of the Year: Kosuke Fukudome

Surprise Team: Braves
Disappointment Team: Rockies

Surprise Player: Kelly Johnson (Braves)
Disappointment Player: Troy Tulowitzki (Rockies)

WORLD SERIES

Cubs over Tigers 4-3

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New TV DAY!! Sharp Aquos 52″ LCD 1080p

March 21st, 2008

There are very few days as great as new TV day. Yesterday was one of those wonderful days. I got home from work and the whole Golbeck clan headed to Sam’s Club to pick out our new TV. After searching and staring we settled on the Sharp Aquos. The picture seemed nice, the brand is nice, and the price was reasonable. When I got it home I was not dissatisfied. The picture is incredible!! I HIGHLY recommend this extremely cool TV.

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President Golbeck?

March 7th, 2008

I tend to stay away from politics in my life and blog because A) In general ALL politicians Republican or Democrat are scum and 2) The political system is SOOOOO out of whack that if I start ranting I may never stop.

However, every once in while I get an idea, an idea so great and amazing that I am positive if I use it as my platform for running for President I would secure the election, without advertising and with 87% of the vote (there is at least 13% of the population that is far to dumb to even punch a card properly, frankly it is more like 70% but I am being nice).

I hope you are sitting down because here it comes……..
I propose making spring forward day on a Monday at 2 in the afternoon. This would make people happy and be a great way to stick it to The Man. I don’t know why this has not been thought of yet.

Who was the idiot who thought to themselves…”Hmmm..We need to take an hour out of a day. What is the best day of the week to accomplish it? I know, we’ll do it the one day that basically everybody gets to relax and not be stressed and enjoy themselves. They won’t mind giving that hour up so we don’t disrupt THE MAN.”

Unfortunately this is this type of moron we elect. They don’t want to disrupt businesses becuase it will cost money and hurt the economy, but they have no problem spending 800 billion dollars to see how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop, when everyone already knows it’s three!!! (deep breath)

So there it is. Tom Golbeck for president in 08′. Write me in as an independent. I promise to move the start of Daylight Savings time to a Monday at 2pm or a Friday at 2pm whichever “The People” prefer. We will compensate every business for the lost time by cutting the budget by 70% and removing ALL the “fluff”.

And I will put the tootsie pop thing to rest.

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Still alive

March 6th, 2008

My apologies you my loyal reader (singular). The site was down for several hours today. We are still alive and going strong. Just a glitch with the hosting company.

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36 Days

February 25th, 2008

This weekend illustrated how much I miss having fun things to watch on the weekends. Sunday I really wanted to sit back and relax. However there was NOTHING on. I don’t even think there was Arena football (I am rarely that desperate). Fortunately next week there are 2 Cubs games on. And there is only one weekend in March without spring training games. Even better in a mere 36 days baseball season starts. It has been a long winter, but the end is finally in sight!

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